Hot asterisk action

I like these threatening emails that have been sent to AIG executives. Nothing like a good old-fashioned threatening missive. The beautifully coy way in which the American papers apply asterisks somehow adds to the charm. The last one is by far the best.

Needless to say, I sympathise with the sentiments.

-- All you motherf***ers should be shot. Thanks for f***ing up our economy then taking our money.

-- Dear Sir: Ya'll should have the balls and come clean and give back the bonuses. I know you would never do this so the gov't ought to take you out back and shoot everyone of you crooked sonofb****es...I would be very careful when I went out side. This is just a warning. If I were ya'll I would be real afraid. Thanks, Bill.

-- I don't hope that bad things happen to the recipients of those bonuses. I really hope that bad things happen to the children and grandchildren of them! Whatever hurts them the most!!

-- You f***ing suck. Paying bonuses to the d*****s that made bad bets losing your company billions of dollars. I want to f***ing puke. Publish the list of those yankee scumbags so some good old southern boys can take care of them.

-- You mother-f***ing, c***s***ing, d***l****ers need to be taken out one by one and shot in the head. There's a special place in hell for you pond scum. Watch your backs because someone will come to get you, you can be sure.

Bonjour Madame La Guillotine

So mega thief and ruiner of tens of thousands of lives Sir Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin is having a big old sook because some people broke his windows and keyed his car.

Listen fucko, I retort, consider yourself very lucky it is only your windows that have been broken.

I have been calling for the selective public execution of various global criminals for a while now. Fred the Shred and that Cassano or whatever he's called from AIG would make an ideal opening pair.

But, you will mumble, having been brainwashed into a pathetic servility by decades of this neo-liberal gangster culture of ours, that won't ACHIEVE anything. Look at China, they execute corrupt executives and it doesn't stop corruption.

Oh yes it will achieve results. Firstly, natural justice will be served. These people are heartless criminals and need to be punished accordingly. I'm not calling for a cruel and unusual punishment. Just a burst to the back of the head from an AK. In public. After they have listed their crimes and expressed genuine remorse.

Secondly, there's a big difference between us and the Chinese. The Chinese have an inbuilt fatalism. The execs there who get caught know deep down that one day they will be and that their final destination will always be state exceution.

But the likes of Goodwin are different. They are bullies, psychopaths even and they honestly think they can get away with it. They are laughing at us as we speak. So what they say? You broke my windows? I screwed you out of billions and got away with it!

But once we dispense some traditional old style Kalashnikov justice to a few of them, their true cowardly nature will come out. We will encourage them to turn on each other and they will. We will offer some amnesty if they reveal the full misdeeds of the others and like the vile serpents they are, they will fall over themselves to condemn their old mates in order to save themselves.

And once we have executed those they informed on, we will kill the informers too.

And it will be glorious.

Time to tape the clips together ...

We need to publicly execute some of those responsible for the financial crisis.

I'm normally against the death penalty but in a case like this where guilt is so obvious and the magnitude of the crime so enormous, occasionally you have to take action.

We could start with some of the senior staff at RBS and AIG. Despite us having to bail them out, these scum then pay themselves bonuses and fat pensions. If we don't take a stand, the parasitical gangsters that got us into this mess will realise that even as we stare into the precipice, we still haven't got the strength to really fight back.

If we don't act now, they will crush us forever. These people are psychopaths in the purest medical sense of the word. They only understand terror.

Anyone who doubts the need to use my old Russian friend the Kalashnikov to dispense some much needed justice - and more importantly, to draw a line in the sand - should read this and get back to me.

I'm not advocating full revolution. Just the murder of say 250 selected criminals to remind the rest that we mean fucking business and they best be falling into line.